brining turkey dangerous - for your love life

A recent post on CH reminded me of this true to life encounter:

A couple years back it was my responsibility to prepare the Thanksgiving bird. I thoroughly researched and experimented and decided on the following procedures: to brine the turkey (a la Alton?) and wrap in cheese cloth (a la Martha?).

So the turkey is in one of those tall white pails soaking in the brine solution in the bath tub. I'd been hitting the adult holiday libations pretty hard that night. When it was time to flip the bird, I stumbled out of bed, in my underwear, without my glasses, and half-drunk / half-asleep. As I lifted the turkey, my bare feet slipped on the porcelain, and I came crashing down in the tub, the turkey on top of me. I thrashed and struggled mightily against the fowl. Unfortunately, my wife was roused by this ruckus, and still claims that she found me sodomizing the poor turkey in the shower!

It was one gorgeous bird.

Ahh - holiday memories.

Obscenely hilarious. That would make a frightening scene in any haunted house for Halloween. In fact, it's almost more inspiring than jazzfood's post in this Al's Beef thread. Almost.

Ramon,

That's your story and you're sticking to it,right?Now let's hear from the Mrs.

Ramon,

All I can say is you're damn lucky turkeys can't talk.

Enjoy,
Gary

G Wiv,

Turkeys may not be able to talk but they can (hunt and) peck.

[Ramon signs off and creates a new user named "Ramon's Turkey"]

"Gobble, gobble, ... choke"

Hi,

Today Culinary Historians had a symposium to commemorate the publication of Oxford Encyclopedia of Food and Wine in America. The keynote speaker mentioned a few surprises he learned from the submitted article. One was why Indians did not eat Turkey.

Turkeys because they were know to run and flee at the least suggestion, were considered cowards. Indians had a hierarchy of animals they prefered to eat, with the braver the better. So for avians, this was the Eagle, thus being adorned by an Eagles feathers was a high honor and distinction. Not so with the feathers of the cowardly Turkey. It was not until the early 20th century that Indians began to consume Turkey.