May I please vent a little?

Quite often, Ms. EC and I dine with her parents. Her father is extremely particular about what he eats. He is the type of diner who will never eat something he has never tasted before. This limits his cuisine to unadorned-unseasoned meat, baked potatoes, spaghetti with meatballs, etc. A little black pepper is too much spice.

His palette does not bother me; I consider it a bit of a challenge. Ms. EC and I look for new ways to slowly broaden his horizons. We never push or insist.

What does bother me is his habit of sending food back to the kitchen. I am not opposed to sending something back if there is a problem, but some people certainly cross the line when it comes to rejecting their food. I would estimate that during 60% of the meals with him and the rest of the aunts and uncles, food has been sent back. Visiting many of the older relatives last winter in Florida, at least one item was sent back at every single dinner by at least one relative, usually more.

I will concede that every diner has the right to enjoy the food that they are paying for. If they are not enjoying the meal, why shouldn't they send it back? Initially, I just shrugged it off, but after careful inspection I have discovered that the practice of sending food back has nothing to do with the quality of the food. It has everything to do with trying to get the upper-hand on the staff, what I call a "culture of complaining". I think that they believe that if they start off complaining, they will get better service and possibly a discount.

Last, night Ms. EC and I decided to take her parents to Paprikash, a favorite of ours (though generally in the winter because of the "stick-to-your-ribs" quality of their food). I thought this was a great idea. Paprikash has plenty of grilled meats, familiar schnitzels, and boiled potatoes. I liked the idea of introducing them to a cuisine that they may have never had before, and showing them that there is no reason to be intimidated.

I could tell from the minute we were seated that Ms. EC's father was sending his food back tonight. He ordered the Romanian Skirt Steak without the peppers and onions, which made me nervous (a relatively cheap piece of meat like skirt steak has a decent chance of being tough, if not prepared right). As soon as it arrived, before tasting it, he turned up his nose. He dragged his knife across it lazily and declared that he was sending it back--too tough. When the waitress returned, he demonstrated his feigned inability to cut it, and asked for the Wiener Schnitzel. Between bites of the schnitzel he continued to complain about the steak to the rest of us and asked his wife if the schnitzel tasted too salty.

(Let me take a side note and add that our meals were excellent. I had a potato pancake stuffed with beef goulash and topped with sour cream. The beef was succulent and tender. I also had the chance to taste the lamb stew which exploded with flavors. The schnitzel was crispy on the outside and juicy in the middle.)

I try really hard to avoid letting this "culture of complaining" ruin my meal, but I have to say that it drives me crazy, embarasses me, and makes me angry. I never speak up, as it is his right to send food back and not my place to tell him to try and enjoy what he is served.

Thank you for letting me vent.

I've witnessed a few send-back scenes in restaurants that turn the drama level up way too high, for other diners, as well as in the kitchen, all for nothing but the drama level, or as a show of dominance. It can ruin a few dining experiences as well as an overcooked steak would. It flows over to other tables as staff's attitudes get frazzled, and the short supply of server time gets exploited.

I was once served some raw chicken strips at ESPNZone when it first opened and sent them back. I was accused of trying to get one over on the staff. Bouncers came and forced me to pay my tab before throwing me out. When I called the main office about this the next day, they told me they get so many complaints from people trying to get VIP deals, the staff tends to be overcautious. This is an extreme situation, (I can't think of a worse dining experience than being forced to pay for potentially hazardous food) but I think many off us can name places that have been ruined by bad customers.

If it were me, I'd hesitate to bring someone who constantly sends food back to any of my favorite places. I'd especially avoid places with bouncers.

I felt the need to reply to you, EC, simply because I could feel my ire rise as I read your post. Personally, I believe that there is really only one reason to send food back and that is when something is not cooked to the degree of doneness that you had specified. I've also encountered situations where I've ordered a specific dish thinking that it would be prepared in a way that I've enjoyed it before only to find, once it's delivered from the kitchen, that this chef's interpretation is something rather different. In cases such as that, I always feel that it's best to eat what's in front of me, keeping an open mind and viewing this as the opportunity to see which version I like better. After all, I just may like green eggs and ham.

I also dislike the culture that you describe. You go to a restaurant to enjoy, not bargain, not looking for something to complain about. It dismays me when I see people treating staff with the attitude that they are somehow a step below the patrons. I just don't get that. Would your father-in-law act the same way if he were at a friend's house for a dinner party? I doubt it.

I give you lots of credit for continuing to take him out to dinner.

Kiplog, "overcautious" hardly seems the word for how you were treated at ESPNZone. All I can say is, that's that much more reason why one should avoid such tourist clip joints like the plague that they are.

Kwe730 wrote:Personally, I believe that there is really only one reason to send food back and that is when something is not cooked to the degree of doneness that you had specified.

I tend to agree. I was raised to believe that you only reject food in a restaurant if it is either inedible or completely incorrect.

Kwe730 wrote:I give you lots of credit for continuing to take him out to dinner.

Thanks. Due to the relationship involved, we'll be having meals together for many years to come.

Hey eat, have you ever met my Father? You could be describing a dinner experience with him. Although he doesn't necessarily send his food back, he is a master of the "culture of complaining". If I weren't so thick skinned, I'd be personally embarrased most times when dining with him. He constantly crosses the line (IMO) and commits cultural faux pas. Still, he's my dad and, as I came to accept years ago, you can't choose your relatives. I have taken to not taking my parents to restaurants where I know the owners or wish to build up a relationship.

stevez wrote: I have taken to not taking my parents to restaurants where I know the owners or wish to build up a relationship.

That's pretty much the same conclusion that I came to last night. Oh well.

eatchicago wrote:I try really hard to avoid letting this "culture of complaining" ruin my meal, but I have to say that it drives me crazy, embarasses me, and makes me angry. I never speak up, as it is his right to send food back and not my place to tell him to try and enjoy what he is served.

EC:

I'm just curious: does the pattern of complaint and finicality/'finickiness' also come up in a similar way at meals taken at the homes of relatives and friends? Perhaps not complaining publicly at those meals but then privately, after leaving?

Antonius

I don't even think the issue is sending the food back, but the haughty way it's sent back.

We aren't those types and thankfully don't dine with any. Thinking of one send-back in the last year - x steak was ordered and y steak was delivered - simply the wrong dish.

We were very polite and friendly in explaining the problem, the new dish was brought without any perceptible negative feelings.

I imagine you have problems with this man out of restaurants too... Whew, I guess my in-laws really aren't that bad!

Nancy

Ouch. I found the OP almost unbearable to read. I hope venting did you good. I can't imagine a creative solution, unless there are places out there somewhere that he considers "his" places; places that have passed the test so that he has an ego stake in their being good. Then you could just eat at those places when you have to eat with him and maybe the dynamic would be different.

I agree, for the most part, that one should really try to hold sending things back to a minimum. That something should really be domonstrably wrong with the dish.

On the other hand, I forget where this happened, but my wife once ordered something which the menu description really positioned as being made a certain way, and what came out, though it had the same ingredients, etc., was quite different. My wife, very politely explained to the waitress that she was sorry but this dish was vastly different from what she was expecting, and would it be possible for her just to choose something else. The waitress was helpful, apologetic, and there was no problem getting another dish. No drama, and some very happy customers.

So, I think if you're not playing games, but have a really honest reason for wanting a replacement dish - that criterion can be stretched a bit, and a good reastaurant would still do well, though not be obligated, to accomodate you.

P.S. I wish I had done this at La Donna where my wife ordered pumkin rav. with balsamic reduction sauce. Their version is so unbelievably sweet it's like pasta covered in cola syrup. She didn't want to cause trouble because obviously this was their way of doing it. But she didn't enjoy her meal and I wish we had sent it back.

Similar experience at Andies after they had just expanded. Ordered hummos. Pretty basic, right? We dipped our pita in, bit, and our eyes bugged out and we looked up at each other. It was sweet. as in lots of sugar. We tried again to see if we were hallucinating. Defintely sweet.

Called the waitress and suggested that perhaps someone had mistaken sugar for salt in the kitchen because this couldn't be right. She took it back, then returned with the same dish, saying that the kitchen had tasted it and pronounced it normal. (We've given up on Andies.)

stevez wrote:I have taken to not taking my parents to restaurants where I know the owners or wish to build up a relationship.

Mr. Z,

Smart, I have an Aunt that I'll start doing that with.

When I saw you posted to this thread, I was hoping you'd relate your group of older women, waiter presenting the check joke. Punnchline being, 'so, was there Anything you liked today?'

Last thing I returned in a restaurant was crisp on the outside, raw on the inside, sweetbreads at the long since shuttered Fahrenheit 451. Funny thing was, the waiter tried to tell me that F-451 was a more sophisticated restaurant and They served much of their meat rare for taste etc.

The restaurant was new, the waiter had one or two days on the job, and was just parroting what they told him about duck breast, fish etc. Patrick Concannon, who I knew from many years of going to Don Juan, was the consulting chef, and I had seen him in the open kitchen as I walked in.

After the waiter finished his "I am cool 'cause I'm wearing a designer outfit the restaurant loaned me for the night,' spiel I picked up the plate, took it to Patrick and asked if he really meant to serve burnt on the outside, raw on the inside sweetbreads.

Patrick's look of disgust, followed by laughter, was enough to tell the waiter he might wish to rethink rare sweetbreads. It was a very funny moment.

Enjoy,
Gary

This reminds me of an incident that happened to me many many years ago. There were about 6 or 7 of us in a training program for a job. We had to finish training before we could start working. It was located around Milwaukee and Foster and the consensus one day was to go to lunch at the nearby Ponderosa steak house, a true culinary experience just waiting to happen. But we didn't have a lot of choices since we were only given 30 minutes for lunch and there wasn't much else around there back then.

So we're all sitting there pretending that we are eating something edible when this 12 year old assistant manager walks up to the talbe to ask us how the food was. And much to my suprise, he actually kept a straight face while asking.

Well most of us were smart enough to just nod and hopefully send the poor lad away, one person had to mention that the steak(?) wasn't very good. And with that, the little kid grabs the guys plate and says he'll bring him another one.

About 5 minutes later he returned with something that not only resembled steak, but actually looked quite good. And our complainer indeed acknowleged that it was a pretty good steak.

The best part of the story is that we left the complainer to finish his meal and we all went back to the training. The complainer got back late and got fired. But at least he got a good steak for his $5.

HI,

Long before I ever knew there was a Chowist community, I was already patronizing restaurants off the beaten path. For a while, I used to visit a restaurant situated in the middle of a bar along 41 near the IL-WI border. This husband and wife operation rented in a fully-enclosed space within this bar, which was run separately from the bar. We didn't go often but everytime we went they treated us like old friends.

My Grandfather visited us and offered to take us to dinner. Rather than go somewhere local, I proposed this struggling little restaurant. There is very little about this dinner I really recall beyond my Grandfather's performance. My Grandfather, who wore dentures, ordered ribs. We tried to persuade him to something else because we knew what he expected in ribs: fall off the bone "meat jello" as G Wiv would describe. You cannot reliably find this style of ribs everywhere and we didn't know what this place offered. Sure enough, the little voice in the back of my head is correct, the ribs had a more stick to the bone mentality.

My Grandfather begins to complain the ribs are tough. I took a sample, found them suitable and reminded him not all ribs are cooked with meat falling off the bone. I reminded him, again, he should have ordered something else. I offered to exchange my food with him. Nope, he knew how to behave and get what he wanted. He summoned the wife over to complain, "These are the worst ribs I have had in four countries!" Of course, the people felt awful and did not obligate him to pay for his meal.

When we received the bill, my Grandfather paid in full and left a mediocre tip. Once we were out to the car, I made some excuse to go back. At my insistence, I paid for his meal and upped the tip considerably.

On the drive home, we took picturesque Sheridan Road. My Grandfather was in a pretty chirpy mood just prattling on. He realized nobody in the car was answering him. He said, "Has the cat got your tongue? What's wrong with everyone?" He really could not understand our irritation from the restaurant.

As for the four countries, it took a while to figure it out: He was born in Ireland, lived in the United States and somewhere along the way visited Canada and Mexico. As if all three places were rib destinations!

Friends you can pick, relatives you're stuck with.

Antonius wrote:I'm just curious: does the pattern of complaint and finicality/'finickiness' also come up in a similar way at meals taken at the homes of relatives and friends? Perhaps not complaining publicly at those meals but then privately, after leaving?

Yes, and also in matters not related to food. He will not complain directly to a host or be overtly rude, but the drive home can be tough to deal with.

The interesting thing to me is how this attitude is pervasive throughout his social circle. My last visit to them in Florida was riddled with these events. There was one particular time when I didn't rave about a piece of fish I had at an early-bird special and I was berated by half of the table to send it back. I refused and the table thought I was insane.

I generally like the man, and all the others involved. They are not bad people, overtly rude, or mean in any way. It just disturbs me how many people can have such different attitudes towards service.

mrbarolo wrote:I can't imagine a creative solution, unless there are places out there somewhere that he considers "his" places; places that have passed the test so that he has an ego stake in their being good. Then you could just eat at those places when you have to eat with him and maybe the dynamic would be different.

We generally dine in "his" places, which I find dreadful and the dynamic is slightly different. He is less likely to send food back, but it has happened.

Thanks again for letting me vent. It did indeed do some good.

If I know that someone is a TERMINAL COMPLAINER, I have found the perfect solution. I don't eat with them.

My sister-in-law's sister is one of these militant vegetarians. Going to a meal with her is a trial by ordeal. She is going to lay into the server, send multiple courses back, and be rude to the entire staff.

Whenever I am invited to eat with her, I pass. Not worth the effort. Life is too short.

I feel your pain.Arrrrrghh!I think I mentioned my situation in the thread "Creative Spark".My father will mainly eat a meat and potato diet.It is notas bad as sending it back.Just trying to get him to go anywhere slightly adventerous.He once went with us for Ethiopian food.He decided just to get a vegetable soup and that was too spicy.Plus I cook for two diverse people.Maybe I will give up and serve them tv dinners.I'd send the food back but can you really do that at Burger King and Old Country Buffet?

When I was working at a restaurant about 1 year or 2 ago, we would come across one or two customers that are habitual complainers.

Once, a lady ordered the seared tuna appetizer. When it arrived, she ate 3/4 of it, then called me over and complained that the fish was raw (?? hence the word "seared"). She then proceeded to request that the kitchen cook it further. Now mind you, we are talking about 2 pieces of tuna left. I warned her that if we did that the tuna will be cooked fully, and may not taste right. So, we went ahead and cooked it, and lo and behold, it was cooked fully. She then complained that it was overcooked and demanded that we comp her entire meal...

Another time a delivery customer called and complained that her udon noodles spilled over and "flooded" her sushi, rendering them inedible. She demanded a refund. We proceeded to tell her that we will send a new order, but if she could return the spilled food, so that we could investigate how this could have happened since we packed the hot and cold stuff seperately. When we picked up the food, we found the soup from the udon noodles in the sushi box, but the paper bags were still dry, the lid tightly replaced on the bowl and the two containers were still packed seperately in 2 plastic bags...

Sigh...

hattyn wrote:I'd send the food back but can you really do that at Burger King and Old Country Buffet?

You should. Better yet, you shouldn't go there in the first place.

People who routinely complain about food in restaurants that way really irritate me. I have one friend who often complains *after* he's eaten every last bite of something. Well, he used to, because I've told him that if he does it one more time when I'm around, I'm not dining out with him any more.

I have known several other people who were picky eaters like that. Interestingly to me, a couple of them were men who wondered aloud why they were still single although they were looking for a partner. I assume that a lot of the time they didn't get past the first date thanks precisely to this type of behavior. It's frustrating because I feel as if it's pretty much reflexive and they should be able to stop it. I told one guy it was bothering, and the next time we went out he took a bite of his steak, looked at me and said, "This is the part where I start complaining, isn't it?" He seemed to think it was cute.

Those are the kinds of places the company I keep like.Even when I offer to treat that is where they want to go.

My wife used to waitress at well known hamburger place. If someone sent the food back, it was redone, but it was not uncommon for the cook to spit on it and then reassemble the sandwich. Food dropped on the kitchen floor would routinely be picked up and put back on the plate. If a co-worker really pissed off a cook (a rare occurrance, everyone knew not to anger the cooks), they might find a flat tire when they left work.

After you've left ask the complainer if they ever thought that it's conceivable that an angry chef could spit on their food. Maybe he'll think twice about sending something back in the future.

It might be better if upon entering the restaurant, make an excuse to visit the restroom, and have a word with the waiterstaff/manager, warning them about the potentially difficult customer. If they know ahead of time they might have ways of dealing with him. or be able to cater to his whims. A skilled waiter might direct him to something tender without a lot of spice.

Humor always helps. After the waitress says "Hi, I'm Barb, and I'll be your server tonight." You say "Hi, this is my father-in-law and he'll be your headache tonight!"

EC, my psychological expertise* tells me this has nothing to do with the food, and all about your father-in-law's need for control.

By criticizing his meal at Paprikash, a definite chowist choosing, he gets the benefit of both annoucing his need to be served correctly while questioning your choice at the same time. With the benefit of not knowing you or your family, and I am making some assumptions, I'd say this has more to do with his needs and the relationship he has with the rest of you rather than the food at all.

I just feel sorry for restauranteurs who have to put up with this xxxx a lot. I think some places in South Florida have gotten numb to the routine.

* I have no psychological training whatsoever, except dealing with some very screwy family members of my own

I suppose most of us have had experiences like this. The companion who always made me nervous was my father-in-law, may he rest in peace. It was almost as though he was always expecting that someone was going to cheat him and the way to prevent it was to get in the first blow. Our solution was to go to the one restaurant he approved of (which was a fine restaurant so it wasn't painful) as often as possible and to tip very generously--behind his back of course--when an incident happened there or elsewhere.

It might be better if upon entering the restaurant, make an excuse to visit the restroom, and have a word with the waiterstaff/manager, warning them about the potentially difficult customer. If they know ahead of time they might have ways of dealing with him. or be able to cater to his whims. A skilled waiter might direct him to something tender without a lot of spice.

I used to dine fairly frequently with a career complainer. After a number of embarrassing circumstances, this was my approach. Humor works as well. This individual had a particular problem with pork, so we would joke with him and the waiter by saying to waiter "no pork on the menu tonight, nudge, nudge, wink, wink."

EC, I feel your pain. Many have similar problems. I call them P.I.T.A. (Pain in the a__) relatives. How about the religious zealot/gun collector/self-appointed judge of everything who became semi-vegetarian because he wanted to live forever, and who would sit in the restaurant with a basilisk stare aimed at eaters of red meat?

You had the best of intentions, but what a shame that a delightful place like Paprikash suffered dealing with your father-in-law. (By the way, I agree the goulash inside a potato pancake is excellent.)

Your term "culture of complaining" describes well what is going on. However, I doubt that the basis is anything as rational as expecting better service or a discount. I suspect it's about control.

Ideally the solution is to avoid meals with your father-in-law entirely, but that doesn't seem to be an option.

Therefore, I offer a few other suggestions.

1) As you have wisely decided not to take him to "restaurants where you know the owners or wish to build up a relationship," do the opposite. Take him to restaurants you dislike. You won't have to worry about destroying relations with restaurant owners. Look for restaurants with arrogant service. Then the restaurant operator and your father can really enjoy squaring off with each other. Both may be happier this way.

2) Take him to Gene and Georgetti's. It's meat and potatoes so he can't gripe about the type of food. Also, G&G is in charge of delivering the s__t, not receiving it, so it could be entertaining.

3) Take him to ethnic restaurants with a subtle advance hint on your part that they have organized crime connections. Many countries have a mob of some sort -- former Soviet nations have been in the news lately. People who like to play the intimidation game usually respect those who do it better than they! [This paragraph edited to reflect comment by Antonius]

Good luck.

George R wrote:2) Take him to Gene and Georgetti's. It's meat and potatoes so he can't gripe about the type of food. Also, G&G is in charge of delivering the s__t, not receiving it, so it could be entertaining.

Good luck.

Oooh, I like your advice . . . you are evil, but in a good way.
If Dad-in-law is up for some late night fast food, I'd love to witness a square-off at Wiener's Circle. Perhaps you could sell tickets?

In all seriousness to the OP, I hear you loud and clear. I'm trying to remember the last time I sent a dish back to the kitchen and honestly I'm drawing a blank. Not that I'm afraid to do so, but it has to be really and truly wrong (either improperly cooked or the wrong dish or not matching the description) for me to do so. I guess I've been lucky that it's been such a rare happenstance. I HAVE eaten with people like your FIL, though, and admire your strength for continuing to dine with him. I simply couldn't do it. I can't eat when I'm upset or tense and that type of behavior would do it to me. I guess if I had no options I might begin to explore new options for me, like Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and the like. I could certainly never take him to any restaurant that I wanted to continue to be a regular patron unless I had the opportunity to brief the staff in advance of what to expect.

"The usual fortune for complaint is to excite contempt more than pity."
- Samuel Johnson

Original post in this slot removed by the author in preference for the citation above.

A

It's not just the elderly (or people to whom we're related): my all-time worst restaurant experience came courtesy of my best friend's prom date. I was raised in a family that (at least in restaurants) is polite to a fault. I think my mother would sooner choke down raw poultry than return a dish, and she instilled in her children that being anything less than cheery and kind to servers was some sort of mortal sin. Imagine my horror when during the "most special" night of high school careers (thankfully, I didn't - and still don't-- feel that way about the prom) my best friend's date sends his meal back not once, not twice, but THREE times. We were all mortified, and, like a previous poster, two of us snuck back inside to add another $25 to the tip. Needless to say, the guy was an arrogant jerk, and this was, unfortunately, merely the tip of the iceberg.

As for eating with demanding vegetarians/vegans, I had dinner last week with a vegan who chose (from all of the options we had given her) to eat at Big Bowl. After rudely quizzing the waitress about ingredients for 10 minutes, the waitress finally laughed and said, "Look, you shouldn't have come here -- we aren't really even sure what's in most dishes..."

Ah, sweet truth...

Sometimes, though, it's the service that sets the tone. My mom will send stuff back if it's very over/under cooked, if it's too cold, or if seafood smells fishy. We've actually had seafood that smells so bad you KNOW ther's something dreadfully wrong, and the waitstaff says "oh no, the chef says it's fine."

(originally posted on Chowhound's Midatlantic board)

We had a 6:30 Saturday reservation for 3 people, and I called to make it 4 people. The guy I talked to on the phone kept saying "oh that's impossible, just impossible, that's impossible" and when I said "excuse me?" he mumbled something, and I think he might have actually been talking to someone else while on the phone with me, or maybe making a weird attempt at a joke. Either way, he then said it would be fine.

We arrived and our table was ready, a pretty table right in the window. My dad asked for an iced tea with lots of lemon "in the biggest glass you have." So they brought his iced tea in a large plastic container normally used to get potato salad at the grocery store. It was flexible, and hard to drink from, he had to use both hands. We weren't sure if the waitress really wanted to be helpful and get him a big glass, and thought that was a glass, or if it was some sort of joke. That sort of set the tone for the evening.

Service was spotty - we seemed to have 3 different waitstaff. The first one poured our wine, and managed to lose a bunch of our champagne (I had suggested we let it cool a bit first, but she was eager), and the second brought bread while the first was pouring, so he went away with the bread and I had to beg him to bring some (they don't usually give you bread until the menus are gone because people were getting butter and spreads on them, but I wanted some bread to clear my mouth before tasting my wine, so I said "really please just one piece of bread, it's already too late for my menu" which had gotten some champagne on it when my glass was poured - so he relented and brought the bread).

For appetizers, my friend got shrimp bisque, I got a crustacean tower, my folks split the caeser salad. Mine was fantastic, sweet wakame with 2 little towers of crab meat topped with a sesame crust. The bisque was more like ones I've had in the Caribbean than the classic pale French one, but it was tasty, and the Caeser was completely not Caeser salad, other than having romaine lettuce. My dad has a dietary restriction, and a Caeser salad is usually safe - not this one, he had to send it back. So I think they ought to have mentioned that it wasn't a classic Caeser - it had no description on the menu. They took it back reluctantly.

My dad and friend both got filet mignon, and they said it was dry and slightly overcooked (last time my dad said it was undercooked so he had ordered it medium instead of medium-rare). My mom got lime roasted Tiger Prawns, which she liked a lot. I got Tea-smoked Duck, which was odd, and came with a salad. It was sort of gummy and salty - I think it was sort of duck pastrami. I ate the salad, which was fine - the proportion of dressing to leaf was just right.

We didn't get dessert, though we heard the descriptions. Only the ice creams appealed to me, but I'm not a huge chocolate fan - and I understand the chocolate desserts are the way to go here.

Cafe M (or is it M Cafe?)
141 KINGS HIGHWAY EAST
(856) 795-7232

Sometimes it's just better to take the elderly relatives to a (groan!) buffet -- we've sometimes settled for Sweet Tomatoes or one of the China Buffets rather than go through what is ALWAYS an embarrassing experience with a certain set of grumbling parents.

However, there are buffets and there are buffets -- some years ago we took the whole family to the late Park Avenue Cafe's American Dim Sum brunch. Grandmothers 1 and 2 were shocked, shocked, shocked that there could be a brunch that didn't feature plain steam table scrambled eggs and overcooked link sausages -- "you expect me to eat that weird food?" -- and staged a hunger strike until we had the kitchen actually prepare them the Denny's #3 special.

>>Brent