None Dare Call Me Slut

None Dare Call Me Slut

I've written hundreds of thousands of words to market products that help save lives and take lives, Amgen and Eli Lilly as well as Northrop Grumman and Phillip Morris.

Basically, I'm open for business. As long as the business is legal, I'm in.

This may be why a client of mine once cavalierly quipped, "That David Hammond. He's such slut."

I quickly corrected him, "No, not a slut," I said. "A slut does it for fun. Me, I work for money. So you can call me a whore, because if you want me to say you're beautiful and make you feel good, you have to give me money."

Any way, I need to disclose that I am currently contracted with McDonald's Corporation to help develop nutritional training. I've been working for McDonald's, on and off, since 1985; in fact, they were one of my first clients. In the late 80s, I even did a little personal research, exploring areas throughout Oak Park and Berwyn where Ray Kroc grew up and played, his home (not yet a shrine, though some enterprising PR person could make it so), his church, his high school. I must admit, I idolize the guy. He's a shining god in the American food business pantheon, right up there with Gustavus Swift, the Jolly Green Giant, and Ron Popeil.

Today, at the Italian Beef-a-thon, I was mentioning how revolted I became after seeing Super Size Me (the movie in which some knucklehead abuses himself by eating too much McDonald's food), and Dickson pointed out that I was shilling again. He had a good point (which he does sometimes); my expressed opinions may well be shaded by my professional association with companies that help pay the bills.

I say this so that you'll understand if I inadvertently get misty when talking about McDonald's World Famous Fries, suggest that maybe we get a Big Mac rather than a Kevin's, or vociferously defend McDonald's position on, say, nutrition.

Glad we cleared the air on that.

David

I once did a background investigation on Vlassic Pickle Co.

You wouldn't believe the crap I have helped to promote in the name of the almighty dollar.

stevez wrote:You wouldn't believe the crap I have helped to promote in the name of the almighty dollar.

Steve, with all due respect, I just might.

It was fun eating beef with you today (I'm respectfully waiting for George or dickson to post first -- though I believe we achieved a remarkable degree of unanimity).

David

David Hammond wrote:

stevez wrote:You wouldn't believe the crap I have helped to promote in the name of the almighty dollar.

Steve, with all due respect, I just might.

It was fun eating beef with you today (I'm respectfully waiting for George or dickson to post first -- though I believe we achieved a remarkable degree of unanimity).

David

I agree on both counts.

Hello David "I'm lovin' it" Hammond,

(oh wait, that wasn't you, that was some German ad agency, wasn't it?)

Thanks for being so forthcoming about your work on the, um, dark side.

Thanks too, for contributing a post to this sorely neglected department of LTH Forum. Where are all the chefs and restaurant owners who felt so muzzled on CH Chicago? When will we hear from folks who work with saucepans instead of keyboards? From waiters? Busboys? Anybody?

Amata wrote:When will we hear from folks who work with saucepans instead of keyboards? From waiters? Busboys? Anybody?

Amata, good question. I think several of us have been asking the same thing. It might not be a bad idea to actively pursue restaurant people and invite them to join. A lot of restaurants have sites; invitations could be simply emailed.

LTH Forum is not, currently, trying to generate revenue, but it might also be possible at some point to ask restaurants to contribute to forum operation in return for a little targeted marketing to a group of people who eat out a lot. This is not, however, a part of LTH Forum's current business model. Right now (and perhaps forever)...it's FREE. So, as I said, good question!

David

LTH Forum is not, currently, trying to generate revenue, but it might also be possible at some point to ask restaurants to contribute to forum operation in return for a little targeted marketing to a group of people who eat out a lot. This is not, however, a part of LTH Forum's current business model. Right now (and perhaps forever)...it's FREE. So, as I said, good question!

Not to cause our hosts to choke, but perhaps the LTHforum Professional Forum could do a Chicago-centric food service Monster like job listing. Free to post resumes. Charge to employers.

Just an idle thought born from tamale and potato deprivation.

Just to join the confession orgy: I have actually done work for Agri-chemical companies. Pesticides. Not marketing, per se. But lots of research and studies within the distribution chain. My justification is that doing interviews and writing reports that explain to DuPont or Zeneca or whomever just why their salespeople and policies are completely infuriating to distributors, retailers and farmers will not actually increase the amount of stuff that gets sprayed. Just which brand.

Meanwhile - (this doesn't quite belong here, but Amata's plea to populate this board made me want to do something, however feeble) -

I worked briefly as a line cook for the Levy org. when they first opened their Sears Tower restaurants. We had a veal liver scallopini dish that was the only dish there I really liked. Very simple (if memory serves, it has been quite a while). The thin liver strips were flour dusted, then browned quickly, then a white wine reduction with sage and garlic was splashed on as they finished cooking. The whole operation took about 3 min.

The sage and the liver worked great.

However, just to give some insight into the easy corruption of the corporate food world: this was during the first wave of all things needing to be blackened or at least "cajun." Their cajun treatment for sauteed shrimp, et al. involved turning the butter red with paprika, but nary a chili was ever used. And I said nothing...(please don't say anything. My 3 1/2 yr old son loves "'picy" food, and I've never told him about this.)

May we call you sl*t if we say it with the proper mix of respect and affection?

hattyn wrote:May we call you sl*t if we say it with the proper mix of respect and affection?

Yes.

Slut.

Seth,which one of us was that aimed at?Yes I know I ended that with a preposition.

It was aimed squarely at David. Hattyn, when I know you better, I may aim it at you as well!

hattyn wrote:Fortunately I am good at duck and cover.

Could you post the recipe? ;)

I get misty reflecting back on my fast food and market research days.How I long to be a corporate whore once more.

hattyn wrote:I get misty reflecting back on my fast food and market research days.How I long to be a corporate whore once more.

I can identify, hattyn. In the olden days, I worked with/at food guys like Heinz, McDonald's, Baskin-Robbins and Dean Foods. Now I'm working with smaller - and, gastronomically better - food guys. Yesterday I was at http://www.isolaimports.com/

Not shilling for them (yet), but they do have some good stuff.

I haven't done a lot for those guys lately, but I've been through a lot of food plants, and theirs (in Countryside) is one of the best. BTW, Solo is one of their retail brands - not associated with the cup company in Highland Park - but the company's name is Sokol.