Box at the Cell

Box at the Cell

From our writings here and elsewhere some of you may know us a little: Berkeley alumna Amata, moaning about the ubiquity of marketing and franchises; Antonius, so much the bohemian that we ought to move to Pilsen or Plzeň - What the heck were we doing yesterday in a corporate box at 'U.S. Cellular' field?

Our host was a neighbor, himself a red diaper baby, who works for a small company whose owner has a box at Comiskey. (I prefer the old robber baron name.) A perk at this company is the occasional use of the box by the employees, beverages and food included. We were among 15 neighborhood friends invited, none of us in an income bracket high enough to be jaded about 'our' private suite. For those of you of similar limited means, let me tell you that the architecture at the suite level is just as charmless as the rest of the park; walking down the corridor you'd think you were attending a conference at the Duluth Marriott.

Now, I've loved baseball since Billy Martin's first season managing in Oakland and when I'm a paying customer I attend to the action on the field. But the slightly disturbing thing about watching from a luxury box is that the game itself becomes almost an afterthought, despite the perfection of the vantage point. Separated from the regular crowd, with the view of the field framed by roof, rail, and (glass) walls, there's a distance imposed, so much so that the feeding frenzy and cocktail-partyish chit-chat easily take precedence.

So what did we have to eat up there? I guess the dishes vary according to what the host chooses in advance, but here is the spread we grazed upon: chilled boiled shrimp with cocktail sauce; cheese and fruit platter (Port Salut, havarti, brie, sage derby, a mild goat cheese; grapes, kiwis), a platter of raw vegetables plus dips; a Greek salad and a green salad; potato salad; and 'Spicy Dragon Noodles' (not spicy, but rather good cold sesame noodles). Of course even our vegetarian host knew that a day at the ball park demands 'encased meats,' to steal someone's phrase, and we had a choice of brats resting on a bed of sauerkraut or Polish sausages, Gonnella buns or bigger rolls (source unknown), with three types of mustard and other garnishes ready to be added on. The fridge was stocked with Miller products, Heineken, Amstel Light, root beer and other sodas, and bottled water. The food was quite good, of the corporate/catering buffet genre. I have no other luxury box experiences to compare this one to, but I overheard in the women's room (no lines at the suite level!) the assertion that Comiskey boxes are much better than those at Wrigley.

But the buffet offerings in the suite itself are not the full story. Top of the fifth inning: the dessert cart arrives at our door and a mad dash ensues. You've heard claims of burritos as big as your head? Well, the slices of cake served up from the dessert cart approach that dimension as well. I had chocolate cake, but other choices included carrot cake, cheesecake, malted milk ball bombe, and others I have already forgotten. Bottles of amaretto and similar liqueurs could be found as well. There was also a sundae cart; somehow I missed the visit of the espresso cart; when the Bloody Mary cart came by I just waved him off. Comfortable couches await those who overeat - you can stretch out and digest, and even check out the action of the game (oh yeah, the game) on wall mounted TVs strategically placed for the couch potatoes.

All in all, an amusing afternoon, plenty of good food with good friends, and even a Sox victory. To our host, perhaps reading this as a lurker, a big public thank you! (Now register and post something yourself, why don't you? )

Amata wrote:Box at the Cell
But the buffet offerings in the suite itself are not the full story. Top of the fifth inning: the dessert cart arrives at our door and a mad dash ensues. You've heard claims of burritos as big as your head? Well, the slices of cake served up from the dessert cart approach that dimension as well.

For me, the star of the show on that desert cart are the caramel apples, also as big as your head. A knife and fork...well at least a knife... is needed to eat them and they are quite good.